Between Worlds 6: Missing Home

Elisabeth stopped and turned to face the church. The small, single-room yellow building with its lone steeple and empty belfry suddenly looked foreboding. Its two large wooden doors, currently closed, would soon open up to begin one of the most important events in Elisabeth’s life. Even though Elisabeth had come here every Sunday since she was born, today she would be asked several questions in front of the congregation along with the other confirmands to demonstrate that she was ready to take responsibility for her relationship with God. By showing how much she believed and had learned, she would be able to receive Holy Communion, and at the end, she would become a großmädchen, one of the young, unmarried, confirmed women in the church. The boys would become großbuben.

But what if she dropped the host during communion? Or said the wrong words at the wrong time? She was glad she didn’t have to be the one to speak on behalf of the confirmation class, the one who had to write and memorize a short speech that said the confirmands were taking leave of their parents and becoming responsible for their own actions.

“Stop worrying,” Maria said. “You will be fine.”

Elisabeth smiled at her best friend. “You’re always sogood at trying to lift my spirits.”

“I know how important today is. I did this last year, and it was the best day of my life!” Maria’s face broke out into a big smile. “But I didn’t study half as much as you have. So, once again, Elisabeth Schuhmacher, you will be fine!”

Elisabeth squeezed Maria’s arm with her other hand. Thank you, Jesus, for such a good friend. “Have you looked at my dress?” Elisabeth took a step back so Maria could see it better. “And my new shawl?” Maria gasped in astonishment as she took in Elisabeth’s clothing. Elisabeth continued. “Mammi took extra time to prepare my dress for me and to embroider this shawl. She wants this day to be special.”

“You’re the first child to be confirmed in your family. Of course today is very special for her.”

“And Luki even made sure my shoes were clean.” Elisabeth pushed out one foot, showing her shiny but plain black satin slipper. Maria had begged Mammi not too long ago to make more modern designs, but Mammi was too busy repairing regular shoes in time for Easter to try something new. Tata would have done that for me had he been here, she thought. “I’m still nervous, though.”

Maria turned Elisabeth to face away from the church and toward the church yard, where everyone else was still talking with their friends and family. “Look, Lissika. You’re not the only eldest child in the family here.” She pointed out several of the other confirmands and Elisabeth saw her cousin, Little Sophie—so called because her mother was Sophie-Néni—one of the other eleven confirmands today. Seeing her immediately reminded Elisabeth of Andreas-Bátschi and Adam-Bátschi, Mammi’s brothers who had died in the war. Within a few moments, Elisabeth saw their widows’ new families. Elisabeth’s eyes passed over the entire church yard, noticing all the missing fathers and brothers. Semlak had lost fifty-one men to that war, but more were missing today because Romania was still at war with Hungary. Thankfully, so far as she knew, there was little bloodshed in the Romanian-Hungarian war.

Elisabeth felt she had more in common with families whose father was missing—for whatever reason—than she did with the few who were the eldest in the family.

“Why are you suddenly sad?” Maria asked. “It’s your special... ohhhh... Your father isn’t here.” Maria knew Elisabeth too well. Elisabeth nodded.

Like a cruel joke, Peter-Bátschi, his other three children, and Omama arrived just then. Little Sophie ran over to her father. He laid his hands on her shoulders, smiled, and said something to his daughter. The other Braun children began running around the church yard to find their friends.

“They are such wild animals,” Maria said.

Elisabeth wanted to agree with her, but she couldn’t rid herself of the small pang of jealousy she felt. Why hadn’t her father waited one more year before leaving? Tata could even have left after Elisabeth’s confirmation—he would’ve only had to wait another four months. And although Elisabeth hoped she would marry in the next year or two, she didn’t know for sure if that would happen: Tata might choose to stay in America until she was engaged, or even a little longer. But at least he would have been here for today.

“Elisabeth!” Stefan waved his hat and rushed over to her.

A mischievous smile on her face, Maria said, “Oh, dear, I think I hear my mother calling me. I’d better go!”

Elisabeth shot Maria a look, and Maria grinned even more, though she kept her back to Stefan. Then she ran off.

To Elisabeth’s relief, Georg and his brother, Samuel, and Georg’s wife, Eva, were not far behind Stefan: they were slower because Georg only rushed if someone was in trouble, and Samuel limped because he’d had polio as a child. Eva didn’t run because she was a married woman and it would have been improper.

“I wish you all the luck in the world today!” Stefan said. That he had been through so much because of the war and could still show such happiness made his joy contagious.

“Thank you.” Elisabeth’s cheeks became hot.

Georg and Samuel caught up. Samuel also gave Elisabeth a hearty hello, and this time Georg said hello, too, though only loud enough for Elisabeth to barely hear it.

Eva, by contrast, exclaimed, “Lissika! What a special day for you!” She and Elisabeth kissed on both cheeks. “You must be so happy!” Not old enough to wear only black, like their mothers did, Eva was dressed in dark blues and blacks from the headscarf on her head to her feet—except for her socks—the lack of colour contrasting starkly with the bright personality she showed in public.

“You’d better pass today,” Samuel said playfully. “Lissi and I had to get up extra early so we could be here ontime.” Samuel’s wife was also named Elisabeth as were many other women in the church. He called her Lissi, but everyone else in the congregation called her Deaf Lissi. An ancestor of hers had been deaf, and the nickname had been passed down through the family. Samuel’s wife could hear just fine, though.

“Now I’m even more nervous,” Elisabeth said with a laugh.

“You’ll do fine,” Stefan replied. “You’ve been studying very hard.”

Elisabeth saw the other confirmands heading across the street to the pastor’s house, where they were to all meet beforehand. She excused herself and ran to catch up with them.